Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
