Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
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Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
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No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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