As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Randomize
