so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
