Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
