I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
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he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
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He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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