Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
we're so committed to being not committed
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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