ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
