you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
