Non-Jews are for practice
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
