seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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