i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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