i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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