but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
