I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
