its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
