apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize