on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
