Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
