Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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