Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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