Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
