i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
