Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
