i think my tv is drunk
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
