I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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