Will you blow on my dice?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I party with great urgency now.
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