Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
