small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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