Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
