He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So vagazzling was a success
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
