do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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