Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
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I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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