she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
