a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
