Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
