youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Last time i carry you out of a forest
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
