I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
