His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
