That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
This toilet bowl is my home.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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