We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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