I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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