I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.