I'm drive I can fine osifer
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him