your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
