I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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