Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad

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(678): View more from Georgia

The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.

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(937): View more from Ohio

I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.

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(647): View more from Ontario

Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics

(416): View more from Toronto

But that's half the fun of it

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(250): View more from British Columbia

You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit

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(440): View more from Ohio

I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.

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(210): View more from Texas

If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.

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