I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
