I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
