I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
