the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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