No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you win again, gameday.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
