So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
She announced her abortion via fbk
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize