so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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