I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
