I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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