i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize