Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
