No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
