Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
