If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
