Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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