I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
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remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
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Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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