I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Non-Jews are for practice
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
there is puke in my bra ... again
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