yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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