I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm always down for nudity.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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