I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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