Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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