the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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