I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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