he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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