she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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