HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize