New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
