Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
