I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
